New Testament, Acts 12
Herod tried to take all the glory and all the power for himself, he was very prideful and he died in his pride. Peter knew that God is in control of all things and he believed the angel was showing him a vision of his release. Then he realized it was real and he was free. He went to another place to rejoice and to preach the good news. I am sure that his testimony was even deeper because of his experience in prison where everything about his life was out of his control and he could only depend on his faith in Christ. Herod dealt with others by using his power and having them killed or sent to prison. Peter was very caring and loving towards others and always gave them the benefit of the doubt.
*It would seem that Peter was in a situation where escape would be impossible. He was in chains, and guards were everywhere. But with God all things are possible. You may be in a situation where escape seems impossible. Pray to God about it. Ask him to give you wisdom and show you the way of escape.
*Find an adult that you can trust and seek counsel from that person. It may be someone very close to you in your family. It may be a teacher, a minister, a school nurse, or a counselor.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Challenges with a blended family
Husband and wife need to have boundaries and counsels of clear ways to communicate with the children. My husband comes from a blended family and he was an only child for 9 years until the first half sibling came along. I see ways in which they struggle and other ways that they don't. His dad has since divorced his step mom and is living with someone else. This is very hard and frustrating to watch.
National Data from census: 62% of children end up spending time with people other than their biological parents. this statistic is sad for me to see. I would never want my own children to think that I don't care for them or that someone else is mom or dad.
Treating the remarried family (Book)
*It takes 2 years to adjust to each other
*birth parents need to handle the discipline
*step parent/adoptive parent need to be a really good aunt/uncle to the children
*The parents need to have counsels and discussions about the children
I think these are all very important things that we need to remember. I hope that I never find myself in a situation where I am having to do this.
*If you slow down the process of a divorce, less divorces happen!
National Data from census: 62% of children end up spending time with people other than their biological parents. this statistic is sad for me to see. I would never want my own children to think that I don't care for them or that someone else is mom or dad.
Treating the remarried family (Book)
*It takes 2 years to adjust to each other
*birth parents need to handle the discipline
*step parent/adoptive parent need to be a really good aunt/uncle to the children
*The parents need to have counsels and discussions about the children
I think these are all very important things that we need to remember. I hope that I never find myself in a situation where I am having to do this.
*If you slow down the process of a divorce, less divorces happen!
Becoming a parent
Prepare and protect our children to survive and thrive in the world they are going to live in! This statement really stuck out to me this week because I lay awake some nights wondering if I am teaching my kids everything they need to know in order to do this. As a mom it scares me to death to think of things they will deal with as children that I never had to face until I was an adult.
Purpose of parenting
-refine parents
-become more like God
-closer to divinity
Children need:
*courage
*responsibility
*respect
*cooperation
Choices and consequences!!
We must not use natural consequences with our children. They are too dangerous, too far in the future and they affect other people. We need to teach our children to work through their problems on their own unless it breaks a family rule.
*Teach our children by example
*How were you taught respect?
-example, family prayer, respecting our Heavenly Father and by watching other disrespect other and never wanting to be like them. You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you need can't satisfy you.
Purpose of parenting
-refine parents
-become more like God
-closer to divinity
Children need:
*courage
*responsibility
*respect
*cooperation
Choices and consequences!!
We must not use natural consequences with our children. They are too dangerous, too far in the future and they affect other people. We need to teach our children to work through their problems on their own unless it breaks a family rule.
*Teach our children by example
*How were you taught respect?
-example, family prayer, respecting our Heavenly Father and by watching other disrespect other and never wanting to be like them. You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you need can't satisfy you.
Family crisis & power/conflict in marriage
What is a crisis?
not prepared for, problems, urgent and important. Danger and an opportunity
We can let a crisis define us or we can let it refine us. We learn to think from our own parents. Our brain follows our thoughts. If you can find the lies in your thoughts and fill them with truths, life will be better.
ABCX Model
A- Actual Stressor Event
B- Both resources and responses
C- Congnition (thoughts)
X- eXperience
When you are stressing or blaming someone for something.....YOU
*need something to blame
*wanting control over the situation
*trying to solve the problem
*need someone to blame
Boundaries can change in your family to allow growth. Always keep your communication open and honest with your spouse. You can both have the same "stressor" going on in your life yet you will handle it differently from one another. The best way we can make decisions is with each other.
$tre$$---value what is important.
D&C 93--truth and light
not prepared for, problems, urgent and important. Danger and an opportunity
We can let a crisis define us or we can let it refine us. We learn to think from our own parents. Our brain follows our thoughts. If you can find the lies in your thoughts and fill them with truths, life will be better.
ABCX Model
A- Actual Stressor Event
B- Both resources and responses
C- Congnition (thoughts)
X- eXperience
When you are stressing or blaming someone for something.....YOU
*need something to blame
*wanting control over the situation
*trying to solve the problem
*need someone to blame
Boundaries can change in your family to allow growth. Always keep your communication open and honest with your spouse. You can both have the same "stressor" going on in your life yet you will handle it differently from one another. The best way we can make decisions is with each other.
$tre$$---value what is important.
D&C 93--truth and light
Sexual Intamacy and Family Life
Wow this was a fun topic in class :)
The most important sex organ is the BRAIN.
Brain
*Seratonin- the feel good chemical
*Dopamine- neurotransmitter, naturally occurring, excitement
*Oxytocin- emotional attachments (bonding)
Challenges Opportunities
outside decisions showing spouse you care
backgrounds chance to get away
previous bonds bonding will last longer
timing sacrifice for one another
female response sacrifice with one another
communication
Be comfortable talking about intimacy in your marriage. You need to have a good sex life so that one doesn't stray. The best love making is done when you give your intent to your spouse. President Kimball said that he never worked with a couple where sex was not an issue.
The most important sex organ is the BRAIN.
Brain
*Seratonin- the feel good chemical
*Dopamine- neurotransmitter, naturally occurring, excitement
*Oxytocin- emotional attachments (bonding)
Challenges Opportunities
outside decisions showing spouse you care
backgrounds chance to get away
previous bonds bonding will last longer
timing sacrifice for one another
female response sacrifice with one another
communication
Be comfortable talking about intimacy in your marriage. You need to have a good sex life so that one doesn't stray. The best love making is done when you give your intent to your spouse. President Kimball said that he never worked with a couple where sex was not an issue.
Transitions in marriage
Factors of why some people don't marry
1. opportunity doesn't arise
2. perspective
3. Must have resources first
Early marital adjustments can be some of the hardest ones in a marriage. You are discovering things about each other you may not have known during the dating phase. You need to learn to share your budget and time equally. You learn to share a bed. You have to learn to make decisions together instead of independently. You need to accept flaws and always be aware of the other person. Another big adjustment early on in marriage can be adding kids into the mix. You need to keep your marriage on top during this phase. If not you could grow apart.
Some reasons why you can grow apart are:
*birth order
*sharing resources
*children are demanding
*draining of time, money and finances
*parenting styles are not the same
*hormones and emotions changing
*men "think" their wife loves the child more now
*men think women are not happy with them anymore
Don't make your kids your CHORE kids!!
1. opportunity doesn't arise
2. perspective
3. Must have resources first
Early marital adjustments can be some of the hardest ones in a marriage. You are discovering things about each other you may not have known during the dating phase. You need to learn to share your budget and time equally. You learn to share a bed. You have to learn to make decisions together instead of independently. You need to accept flaws and always be aware of the other person. Another big adjustment early on in marriage can be adding kids into the mix. You need to keep your marriage on top during this phase. If not you could grow apart.
Some reasons why you can grow apart are:
*birth order
*sharing resources
*children are demanding
*draining of time, money and finances
*parenting styles are not the same
*hormones and emotions changing
*men "think" their wife loves the child more now
*men think women are not happy with them anymore
Don't make your kids your CHORE kids!!
Preparing for marriage
This week was a great week in class because I am married so it is easy to see where I went wrong or things I didn't do when preparing. I have a great marriage though so even though I didn't follow the "steps" needed, I think I still did alright.
R.A.M.
Relationship Attachment Model
know-trust-rely-commit-touch
All of these things need to go at the same pace. You can't have more of one or else it throws things off. In order to develop all aspects of a good relation ship, we must have all things at the same level. Relationships are destiny to fail if one develops much faster then others. In order to have a successful relationship that will lead to a life long marriage, we must follow these and keep them all at the same level.
We also talked about the 3 P's of dating
*Planned/preside
*Paid for/provide
*Paired off/protect
Brother Williams put up a great power point for Take back the date!!
*I-date buttons
-I date my wife
-I date my mom
-Date me
-Date me, Please
-Date me, now
This was funny yet put out a really great point. We get focused on what we are looking for rather than focusing on your own qualities. The more we learn, the more we realize what our Heavenly father has in store for us.
R.A.M.
Relationship Attachment Model
know-trust-rely-commit-touch
All of these things need to go at the same pace. You can't have more of one or else it throws things off. In order to develop all aspects of a good relation ship, we must have all things at the same level. Relationships are destiny to fail if one develops much faster then others. In order to have a successful relationship that will lead to a life long marriage, we must follow these and keep them all at the same level.
We also talked about the 3 P's of dating
*Planned/preside
*Paid for/provide
*Paired off/protect
Brother Williams put up a great power point for Take back the date!!
*I-date buttons
-I date my wife
-I date my mom
-Date me
-Date me, Please
-Date me, now
This was funny yet put out a really great point. We get focused on what we are looking for rather than focusing on your own qualities. The more we learn, the more we realize what our Heavenly father has in store for us.
Gender and Family Life
The first question that we were asked in class this week was How does gender influence your family? Next we were asked Why should women and men work primarily together in society vs. men and men or women and women?
There was a quote used by Gloria Steinham and it stated, "We badly need to raise our boys to be more like our girls" Why do you think this is?
*assumptions
-girls are raised better
-all nature (born that way)
-girls are better
-equality= same or fair
As females we tend to be more expressive, verbal, we use our emotions and landmarks and we are relationship oriented. Men are aggressive, suppression, spatial oriented and task oriented. As men and women is this life, we have different personalities and goals. We fill in each others gaps where needed. Could you imagine if we were all the same?
There was a quote used by Gloria Steinham and it stated, "We badly need to raise our boys to be more like our girls" Why do you think this is?
*assumptions
-girls are raised better
-all nature (born that way)
-girls are better
-equality= same or fair
As females we tend to be more expressive, verbal, we use our emotions and landmarks and we are relationship oriented. Men are aggressive, suppression, spatial oriented and task oriented. As men and women is this life, we have different personalities and goals. We fill in each others gaps where needed. Could you imagine if we were all the same?
Social Class and Cultural Diversity
Culture, we tried to describe this during class. The word "culture " is used so often however I am not sure all people understand what it really means. In class we came up with these ideas for how to explain it.
*A way of life
*tradition (inherited, not created)
*values and principles
*norms and behaviors
*social practices
Some of the things that define are culture are:
* Possessions
*appearance
*actions
*education
*jobs
*associates
*activities
*money
It's not the income that makes us rich, its the way you utilize your money. We must work as a couple to get the lifestyle that we want to live.
*A way of life
*tradition (inherited, not created)
*values and principles
*norms and behaviors
*social practices
Some of the things that define are culture are:
* Possessions
*appearance
*actions
*education
*jobs
*associates
*activities
*money
It's not the income that makes us rich, its the way you utilize your money. We must work as a couple to get the lifestyle that we want to live.
Family Systems
When we create family rules, we must keep them to 9 or less. Each family system has individual parts and everything we do or say can affect other around us. During class it was explained to us that each family member is like a piece of a zipper and when we make those little connections, we are all one part of the family. In the cycle of the family systems there is what's called circular causality. It's the idea that everything comes with a background. If you break the circular cycle, it can be for the good or for the bad. When one person tries to change, others around you may seem to try and keep you in the cycle. For example adults may resort back to childhood behaviors. My husband was raised in a not so nice childhood. Sometimes when he gets angry at our children I can see his childhood come out in him. He changed his family system for the most part and for that I am proud.
If you know it's a problem, FIX IT before it becomes worse.
If you know it's a problem, FIX IT before it becomes worse.
Theories
This week we learned about different theories in the family. All of the theories are driven rules.
conflict theory (inequality)
*mom, dad and the kids get their way
*one person always gives in
symbolic theory (interactions with others)
*We learn most of our rules through our symbols
*What your parents do, you expect from others
exchange theory (you owe me)
*doesn't always mean selfish
*suggesting behaviors by explanations
Family systems (intimate group, rules, everyone affects each other)
*not just one person
*affects others around you
conflict theory (inequality)
*mom, dad and the kids get their way
*one person always gives in
symbolic theory (interactions with others)
*We learn most of our rules through our symbols
*What your parents do, you expect from others
exchange theory (you owe me)
*doesn't always mean selfish
*suggesting behaviors by explanations
Family systems (intimate group, rules, everyone affects each other)
*not just one person
*affects others around you
I learned that my relationships are driven by my feelings of satisfaction and pleasure. Sometimes I have to wonder if I am giving as much as I am getting. The more I learn about family relations, the more I understand my parents and my own parenting.
Family Trends
This week we had a discussion on Family Trends. It is so easy for me to zone out when talking about this subject because a lot of the discussion tends to be bias opinions and I have a hard time with that. Some of the trends that we talked about were:
1. Unmarried births
2. Birth Rates
3. Delay in having Children
4. Delayed marriage
5. Employed moms\
6. Cohabitation
These are some from the list and to be honest I fall into a few of them. I don't care to explain at this time however a few that I fall into are Cohabitation, Unmarried birth, Delayed marriage and being an employed mom. I know I come from a family that loves me and my siblings no matter the mistakes we make in life and for that I am grateful.
1. Unmarried births
2. Birth Rates
3. Delay in having Children
4. Delayed marriage
5. Employed moms\
6. Cohabitation
These are some from the list and to be honest I fall into a few of them. I don't care to explain at this time however a few that I fall into are Cohabitation, Unmarried birth, Delayed marriage and being an employed mom. I know I come from a family that loves me and my siblings no matter the mistakes we make in life and for that I am grateful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)